I was looking through my gossip sites and I found a picture of Anna Plunkette who is a Australian Fashion Designer. She designed and wore this to a red carpet

I….Have….No…Words, there is no snark, there is no sass and no bitter. I just..She made me feel dirty, alone and confused.

I have to go have a glass wine

Bai Ling shows up alot in the media at red carpet events. She is never in the movies, she is never the one celebrating the birthday or hosting the party, and I can’t seem to find what she does in general on any of the websites on the internet. But she shows up, usually naked, or next to naked or wearing band aids with insprirational sayings on them.

SO I was pleased to see that she was cover 45% of her body at whatever event she was just at, However the 45% was covered (and I use the word loosely) by this

there is so much going on, it’s got the highest slit since this side of a hooker and it’s ruffled and plaid and the gloves have wee polka dots and it’s awful…but she is so determined and so FOR IT that i have to say as terrible as it is, she is rocking it…and i mean it’s better than the last thing she wore out in public which was this

It has fucking saddle bags! and Also I can see her labia…

So once in a while I am going to highlight an everyday person who I know, who has grown leaps and bounds from when we met, to know.
Let’s call it a good ol fashioned “people can change” post.. except replace “good ol fashioned” with mean and snarky.

I present Exhibit A….

Yes that is a tiara, and yes not a damn bit of it matches. Here is one of those pictures where I have so much to say and instead want to type AHAJHSHUHJDBDBJHBFBFJFJKTKTKJTNTN as it is an accurate and complete description of how this makes me feel.
Let’s start with the obvious. Bitch is wearing a god damned party store tiara…On a regular day. not Halloween, not her birthday…on a regular ass day. I can think of 3 people who would be able to do this without me flinching or wanted to slap them, Victoria “posh spice” Beckham, Bai Ling and Bjork.

Do you see one of those women in this picture, No? then don’t wear a tiara in public for no good reason. I am done talking about the tiara now
Ok moving on.

I love pants or skirts. In fact man made them to cover the body. THis is why LEGGINGS AREN’T PANTS.
So 5 points to our regular lady for not wearing leggings as pants. However. Pick a skirt or jeans. Not both. this accomplishes nothing but making you look short….and frumpy. Mostly you just look homeless and crazy, of course the tiara doesn’t help the crazy thing (ok NOW i am done talking about the tiara…..maybe). If some ungodly and unknown reason I would accept these items as wore together in this picture she would at least be in cute and highly not sensible shoes. To give the illusion of height.

and finally (since i could do at least 4 pages on this) Hey tiny book bag I didn’t know it was 1994

Oh wait, and her hair is greasey

HOWEVER now 5 years (god we’re old) later

A cute dress! Cute Shoes! Look at the pattern. it’s simple, it’s sweet it’s flattering. She has taken a simple little black dress and dolled it up with some cute as shit shoes.
Not only does the dress hang wonderful on her body, it hugs in all the right places and makes good things apparent and bad things disappear. Her hair is silky and washed and looks well matained. Dare I say it, Bitch is hot.

Aside for all that, it’s slightly hard to see but there is a thing underskirt that hangs like a trim on the hem of the dress that catches the light beautifully and makes for an excellent subtle and understated statement. that statement “damn i look good”
Also, her skin looks fucking flawless.

Now on a side note, I’d like to think i had a part in the change in her style I met her during the tiara years, and by the time we graduated college She was wearing little black dresses and rocking the sexy sexy hair and skin. I’d say it was all my influence but….wait no fuck it. It was all me. I’m just that good.

of course she’s responsible for this blog’s existence as her wonderful, poignant and insight blog Bitch Like A Geologist is the very reason I decided to get into blogging. So i emplore you to use her growth as an example in your fashion and life.
Also read Bitch Like A Geologist or she just might start the wearing the tiara again, seriously she would. She’s that kinda person. and do you want to put me through that. Do you.

I love Rose Mcgowen*. I do. I defended her when she stole Robert Rodriguez from his wife. I defended her when she was engaged to Marilyn Manson. HELL i even “liked” Jawbreaker (although it still wasn’t heathers hard as it tried)

What I can’t Defend is wearing Novelty Glasses with a dress that looks like the sleeves are unfinished and pink purse that matches the soles of her shoes. Yes, not the shoes themselves folks, but the souls.

No. I can’t defend her this time…..i want to I really do, I just can’t.

*I think this is rose mcgowen, she looks striking similar to Christina Ricci in this picture. I hate when bad novelty glasses happen to cute actors..especially when it makes them hard to tell apart.

So I have 2 Jobs right now. One where I am in charge of the costumes for an off broadway show about Drag Queens and the issues they face in the drag community that they have created for themselves.
and one where I am in charge of 6 people who know nothing about costumes and are borderline incompetent and make my brain swell up and bleed in an inappropriate and generally uncomfortable way.
I had the day off from the first job today and was working this second job.
We have some horrendous and offensive costumes in the show, which is Crazy For You. One of these costumes which is for a 15 second crossover during a Follies number, is called “The Bird Lady”
all of this lead up brings me to the picture i found while surfing gossip sites (I don’t judge your hobbies, don’t judge mine)

Apprently Solange Knowles (beyonce’s more talented, and obviously blind sister) is playing this part in a revival that plays in her own head.

I have 3 major issues with this outfit
1. Solange is thin and cute, why would you wear something with a ruffled-feathered waist that makes you look an overstuffed taxidermy project gone wrong

2. HER MOTHER IS HER STYLIST. yes folks Tina Knowles helps to design and sometimes construct the outfits both her daughters wear, which means she was in the room when this monstrosity was created, constructed (poorly, by the looks of it) and then fastened onto her child. AND DID NOTHING TO STOP IT……that is not ok

3. the shoes don’t match….however they are cute (so kudos to you Lou B, for making cute shoes that got stuck with a bird dress)

it doesn’t help the constant and apparently true rumor that the sister Beyonce and Solange attempt to out “dazzle” each other on red carpets and such. Like solange made the choice to wear this dress in attempt to finally get all the camera’s on her and her crazy crazy Bird lady costume….however she lost because you know what her sister wore to this same event…..

I would love to write something witty, however it just looks like a pair of venetian blinds with a robot hand…

the moral of the story folks…..
I had a long horrible day of work where my brain wanted to leak out the side of my head, and now….well now my eyes hurt.
thanks Knowles Family, for making a bad day worse.

So a friend of mine started a blog of her own some months ago, and as I’ve been reading it it has made me wonder why I never thought of doing something similar.

She keeps her blog on science-y stuff that I have no reason to want to write about, however I have a theatre degree in Costumes and minor in fashion. I could talk cloths, like most queers worth their salt i love clothes and talking about clothes, or bashing what ugly people are wearing, or celebrities with poor taste.

This is not to say all I want to write about is Fashion, I may write about my jobs in theatre, or sewing projects, or my love life, lack of love life, hatred for the color yellow or other such novelties.

Mostly, I just needed something to occupy my time and help me defrag after 13 hour work calls and sewing till my fingers bleed like  a child in a sweatshop.